Trials of a Best Man

The phone rings and the caller ID shows it's my long time friend K. He is excited to tell me that he had finally set the date for his wedding. I respond with, Great! It's about time! He quickly follows with the date and informs me that I would be his best man. He reminded me that the position had already been promised to me and I agreed way back in High School. What could I say?

I agreed of course and he briefly barraged me with ideas he had about the wedding, locations, and of course the bachelor party and quickly hung up to get back to work. I was left with my thoughts. A panic slowly set in about what I had just agreed too. I wondered, what do I have to do? Do I have enough time to do everything that was expected of me while living 400 miles away? I calmed myself by convincing myself that I just had to take care of the bachelor party, throw some rice at the wedding and make sure he doesn't run away. How hard can it be?

After talking to a couple of people and doing some research I realized that getting him to the wedding and married is the goal but I was warned that it was not as easy at it sounded. You're probably thinking, as I was, throw a good bachelor party (a nice relaxing night discussing the joys of marriage) and my duties are over. No my friends there is a lot more to it and I tried to remember as much as I could to share them here.

Bachelor Party
To every guy that knows the groom, this topic seems to be the most important. Although the groom likes the idea of having fun with his friends for the last time while single most of the pressure and taunting comes from the friends. The important thing here is to work with the groom to figure out what he expects from this night and what he thinks the overall budget of his friends might be.

This is especially the case if you don't always hang out with the same group of friends. Figure out time frames, is it going to be one night for a couple of hours or an entire weekend somewhere.

Start thinking about this early. It takes a while to get everyone's contact information and communicate the date and time(especially if it's more than a day event). Everyone involved will give you their two cents about what would be best. In the end, it's about as far as they are willing to be involved with the actual planning. It will come down to the best man and a couple of other good friends to pull through and make the event fun and worthwhile.

Lessons learned:

• Don't be afraid to take control and plan the event in detail
  
• Have contingency plans
  
• Have extra money
  

Tuxedo

The groom will normally pick out the Tuxedo or what he wants you to wear. Just make sure that he does this at least a month in advance and hopes he has some style sense.

Lessons learned:

• You can get a sizing at Mens Warehouse for free! Great idea if you don't live in the same town and cannot make it to the rental shop.
• Don't procrastinate!
  

Speech
Everyone has an opinion about how the speech should be prepared. Some people think it should be done on ad lib. Others think that it should be well thought out and deep, others funny and everywhere in between. I suggest that you start at least thinking about it well in advance. What also helps is having a template to work off of. The template will take you through your years as friends. Writing the speech is actually fun because you remember all the fun and hard times you have gone through and how through it all your still friends.

Lessons Learned

• Write it early and try to memorize most of it. I did this last minute and could not get it memorized and it made it harder
• Write from the heart
• Don't try to be funny just be sincere, if parts are funny they are, if they are not, don't force it.

Travel
Hopefully the groom tells you about the wedding well in advance. If your in the same city it's no big deal but make sure that everyone that might be traveling from out of town either for the bachelor party or wedding is well informed of all options. If you are from out of town make sure to book your tickets early and plan, plan, plan.

Lessons Learned:

• Southwest has some good deals if you book early
  

Rehearsals

For some cultures it's tradition for everyone in the wedding party to get together to rehearse what is supposed to happen the day of the wedding (good luck with that). The rehearsal is followed by a gathering (in our case dinner) to celebrate, catch up and cheer the bride and groom to be. The best man duties are pretty easy during this phase, just get there on time and watch everyone else and try not to laugh as they are confused by the easiest directions. Make sure to take note where others need to be, you will probably be asked the day of the wedding because no one is paying attention.

Lessons Learned

• People will be late
  
• People will not show up
  
• Most of it is tradition and no one in the end will know what they are doing
  
• This is the time to enjoy being the best man it's the easiest part
  

Wedding Day
This day made me realize that everything before this as a best man doesn't mean anything. This is the day when you could be asked to be everything and everywhere at once, unless maybe if you have a professional wedding planner. I have always been a wedding goer, which is easy. Making sure that everything works out perfect behind the scenes is where the challenge is. In reality behind the scenes is a small group of people making sure that everything is going accordingly. What I should say is that while the bride gets ready you and the groom try to do everything else!

Be prepared to be the decorator, choffeur, extra car driver, personal assistant, and anything and everything you can think of in between. Try to get something that looks like a plan from the groom to be and then be prepared that everything will go wrong. The plan is flexible, because everyone will be stressed out and as I said before, what might go wrong, will.

The job of a best man starts when you wake up and doesn't really end until the day is over. The good news is that most of the hard work happens from the morning to the minute before the wedding starts. The challenge is getting everything and everyone to the actual wedding in one piece especially the groom.

Lessons Learned

• Plan to spend the whole day with the groom
• Cell phone should be charged and ready to use
• Be patient
  
• Plan something to eat, even if you have to make sandwiches because once the day starts it does not end (I learned this the hard way)
  
• Prepare yourself to be creative, a problem solver and always thinking one step ahead
• Be patient
• Don't get drunk
  
• Try and get a plan from the groom well in advance of the day, that way you can help plan it or do some tasks in parallel and you have a check off list throughout the day
• Make sure that all articles of clothing are accounted before the day even starts (i.e. Ties, Shoes, etc)
• Manage all paperwork that needs to be handled
• Rings - Do not lose the rings and get them early.
  
• Bring a hand towel for the groom and probably one for yourself. Remember your the personal assistant
• Don't get drunk.
• Drive the groom to the church if you value your life

Nice to have

• Best Man Utility Belt - Should include, wire cutters, duck tape, towel, cell phone holder, pen and paper, drink holder, wallet holder, key rings...

Reception
Once the wedding is over it's almost time to be able to relax. All you need to do now is take pictures, sign paperwork, take more pictures and find a ride to the reception. When arriving at the reception location make sure that everything seems to be in place and everyone knows where they are going. Be prepared to take initiative if something is not right because more than likely no one else will solve it. They are to busy taking pictures, drinking, etc.

• Crowd Control - Do not be afraid to direct the crowd to the locations they need to be
  
• Food - Make sure the catering company has everything they need.
  
• Make sure any toasting glasses and anything special to that wedding are un packed, un wrapped and easily accessible.
  
• DJ - Make sure he is paid.
• DJ - If your DJ is also the MC make sure that you work out the entering of the bride and groom. It is important that they know the name of the bride and groom as well as any other members of the wedding party that is supposed to be announced.
• DJ - Note for those planning the wedding. Is the DJ recommended, if you get a chance go to an event and make sure they know what they are doing.
  
• Seating - Make sure everyone has seating, if they do not take control and work with the venue to get them seating

In Conclusion

The position requires dedication, money and a lot of work. The most important thing to remember is take control when it is called for and be the buffer between everything and the groom. Being a best man is a pain in the ass! It's all worth it when In the end you can sit back and know that you are an integral part of making sure the groom is happy and married and starts on the rest of his life on a happy note. That in itself makes everything worth it.

Note:
I am sure that I have forgotten stuff or blocked it out of my mind. If you can think of anything else or any pointers please feel free to share!

Why am I gardening at 10pm?

I was gardening in our garden (4 total plants) last night at 10pm. I called it gardening by candlelight to try to make it more exciting than a flashlight and study lamp. Why you might ask? Well, we have these crazy squirrels in the neighborhood and they feel it's their duty to antagonize everyone by making weird noises, chasing each other up and down trees and across balconies and dig up our plants.

To stop the abuse of our plants by these bushy tail bandits we bought some wire to surround the bottom of the plants. I decided that 10pm on a Wednesday was as good as time as any to work on it. In this small exercise I did learn something though and I thought I would share it.

Approach One
I decided that it would be best to cut the wire in a circle about the same size of the pot. I did that without to much trouble and then cut an inner circle in it so it it looked like a doughnut. I could then slide the plant through the hole in the middle.

Lessons Learned:

• Do not pick the plant up by the plant itself! I did this to a small tree that we have and the whole thing came out of the dirt. I was standing there with wire in one hand and a dangling tree in the other.
• A whole in a circle of wire to put the plant through the middle sounds good but not when the plant doesn't fit and the wire is shredding the plant to pieces. It's cool though, I got it to work with minor damage to the tree and manage to bend the wire in place. Not the prettiest or best solution but it worked.

Approach Two:
For the second and third plant I decided to use another approach. I simply cut the wire into a circle and then cut a line the length of the radius. I then opened it up and put it around the base of the plant and dirt. Simple, effective and clean!

Lessons Learned:

• Do this in the day, it's probably much easier
• Get good wire cutters
  

Conclusion:
We will see how they hold up to the crazy squirrels in the area. I know it's tough living in a small suburban community but we try to keep life exciting!

Small Steps

I have decided that to achieve my goals everything must be taken one step at a time. I mean you can't just put on a pair of running shoes and expect to run a marathon. Food is a major problem for several reasons but most notably, it's everywhere, and I really think I am addicted to it. Laugh you may but seriously I think I'm addicted to it!

Most exercise programs recommend a level increase of about 10% a week, any more than that and you can get hurt. What if I apply this same method to dieting and eating? What if I slowly take something out of my diet every week? I'm excited to try!

I thought about this post and wrote half of it a couple of weeks ago. Below is a catch up of the last couple of weeks.

Week 1:
I am eliminating the Odwalla Orange Juice out of my daily routine. Somehow I have grown to really enjoy my Orange Juice in the morning but I realize that by taking it out I save 220 calories a day.

Week 2:
I have eliminated the extra squirt of syrup in my latte. I think I can do without the chocolate and the caramel. I have also eliminated a half a cup of milk and a cookie from my afternoon snack (Cookies are my weakness!). I really can't believe how much extra stuff I have a day. I've started to evaluate what I eat (shocked) and am excited to find new foods to eliminate.

Week 3:
I am into my second day of week three and have decided to eliminate cookies all together from my diet along with the bowl of cereal I've somehow started having after dinner.

Izumi's Telling Me to Run Not Jog

I was flipping through the current issue of Runners Magazine and I came across this add for Pearl Izumi's running shoes. I found it inspiring and made me think of all the ways that running and working out helps with facing daily challenges. I know that the next time I'm about to keel over on the treadmill I will remember that hard work will be rewarded

"If you ran without sacrifice, congratulations. You just jogged. 'Running hurts. It always has ... Guess what? Running is still a bitch. But one with a purpose. It teaches us that good things do not come easy. It teaches us that we are capable of more than we think. It teaches us that hard work will be rewarded and laziness will be punished. Don't expect to learn those life lessons from running's shiftless stepchild, jogging. Next time you suffer on the roads or trails, suffer proudly'"

Fitness Goals

A brief history on me and fitness. I'm one of those people that have always tried to play some type of sport throughout my life. Those times in life that I haven't can only be blamed on two reasons laziness or injury with one often leading to the other.

My most recent serious injury happened last year on a bike; I was trying to be 15 again. I found out that I am not 15 and my little stunt lead to a six months of no running and the "I don't care, I'm over it" mentality.

I have to thank Ray, my most inspiring workout partner for making me sign up for the Camp Pendleton Mud run. With his encouragement I pulled myself together and started to try to get in shape again. I don't know if it's because I am getting older, but getting back into shape was harder than I remember it being. My goal was to try to build the foundation I had lost in the previous six months and finish the race in one piece. To give you an example of how out of shape I was, I remember Matt saying that it would be a "Medical Miracle" if I could actually finish it. To make a long story short, after several months I was able to complete the Mud Run (1:33:00) and four weeks later complete the Santa Cruz Wharf to Wharf (1:12:00).

I'm pretty happy with being able to at least finish, considering initially a two minute walk was a challenge but with the Mud Run and the Wharf to Wharf checked off (I like checking stuff off) it's time to evaluate where my fitness levels stand. After the last 10k I realized that I am at the point that simply finishing isn't good enough. I think that it's time for new, faster, harder goals. Considering I just had a birthday and the next Mud Run is about a year away, here are my new fitness goals for the next year. Twelve months to whip myself into shape!

Long Term Goals

1. Run the Camp Pendleton Mud Run in 1 hr 10 min [primary goal]
   
2. Finish 275 lbs, 10 times on my last set of bench

Mid Long Term

1. Run 6 miles in 50 minutes [This one is scary]
2. Finish a 1/2 marathon
   

Mid Term Goals

1. Run 6 miles in one hour

Shorter Term Goal

1. Run 3 miles in 30 minutes
2. Get to the third hole on my belt (been trying at this one for a while)

First Time Out using this as a Bench Mark

• Running - 2.41 in 30 minutes.
• Bench - 135lbs 10 times
  

Flight Stats

Andrew is coming to visit this weekend and again I have turned to this handy website Flight Stats. It tells me if his flight is delayed, when it departs and when the plane touches down. The text messages it sends are a bit cryptic and the number of texts received per flight seem to vary. Other than that the site is intuitive and the service is reliable. I haven't used it for anything more than setting text alerts about incoming/departing flights but it has a lot of different functionality for the avid traveler. *** 1/2

Norton Removal Tool

I was trying to uninstall Norton Anti-virus from a Window's Vista laptop. I went through the normal add/remove programs and guess what...it didn't work! When I clicked on the uninstall it ran fine, looked like it was doing its job. I was about to find out that the uninstall doesn't work quite right. Apparently it leaves some pieces of the program behind. One of those pieces has something to do with the way the browser accesses the internet, I think something to do with the DNS, but not quite sure.

With the uninstall complete I couldn't access the internet using the browser. I could ping a site but that's about it. After getting over my initial frustration I did a bit of research and found the Norton Removal Tool. I downloaded it, ran it, and success! Everything seems to be working great. ****

Hunan Garden, Palo Alto

This place is great! The seating is indoor/outdoor. It has these great fish tanks built right into the walls on one side and the other is a big window that looks out to the peaceful garden. It is all very serene with just enough energy to make it feel like you should be having fun. The wait so far has been non existent, the service is friendly and efficient without being to pushy. The drinks here are great and very strong and a great price. The food is good too! I especially enjoy the Orange Chicken. If your looking for a place in Palo Alto to relax with some great food all for a decent price this is the place. ****

HDMI Cables

It was suggested to me to buy HDMI Cables from MonoPrice apparently they have great deals and sale quality products.

Misinformed

Ladies and Gentlemen we are in the information age. The era of current events not easily and freely accessible is behind us. That being said you have to ask yourself, why are so many people so poorly informed? Or maybe a better way to say it is misinformed. Why do people know more about the latest fall fashion, what is going on with Britney Spears, or who's winning the latest reality TV show contest than who the leading presidential candidates are. Are you one of these people? Why is that?

My generation is often called self absorbed and not in tune with the realities of the world. Is it true? Based on what I have seen and heard I am starting to believe it is. Why is it that so many are not taking it upon themselves to turn off MTV, pick up a book or read the news? I have heard reasons such as I'm to busy, I'm to tired and just want something simple, I don't like to read, and the best one is I don't care.

These reasons are absurd and inexcusable. Please care about what is going on! Please take a moment to figure out what decisions are being made that affect you. Those of you that are from my generation, lets prove the critics wrong. If you know about Britney, Paris, Kim Kardashian but can't tell me anything about the war, politics, or any current events maybe it's time you re-evaluate the way you spend your time. If you don't then they are controlling what you see, hear and believe.

Driving Idiots

You can say that I spend or have spent a good amount of time driving in the last couple of years. I drive back and forth across Cali all the time. For most people the trip from LA to SF is a vacation or a journey they look forward to for months. Well I am lucky enough to enjoy the drive about twice a month on average. I consider myself a pretty good driver with a decent amount of common sense. This being said I have decided to write down some of the idiotic things I see some drivers doing on the road. I know everyone thinks they are a good driver but most people aren't so if you find yourself doing some of these things wake up and drive right or just get off the road.

• Number 1: Do not drive 65 on the left lane of a two lane road. Shit for that matter don't drive 75 on the left lane of any road that has more than one lane in California. Now if you decide to drive that fast on the left hand side and someone comes up behind you, MOVE! No, it's not them that is an idiot for trying to pass you and no they are not testing your ego. This is a test of your common sense and your ability to realize your the dumb ass for being in that lane. So next time someone comes up behind you and your on the left hand lane just move. If your in the SLOW lane then go as slow as you want but the fast lane is reserved for fast drivers not people who want to prove how cool they are by going the speed limit.

• Number 2: If you are one of those fast drivers and your all aggressive good for you as long as you don't get off by trying to intimidate people on the road. Let me remind you of something. If you had any common sense you would look beyond the car in front of you. Tailgating me when there is a line of traffic in front of me will not make the car in front of me go any faster! Look around and realize that there is no where for me to go so back the F***k off. You again just look like an idiot, even if you think your cool. Believe me your not.
  Oh and this goes for you morons that decide that weaving in and out of traffic is a good idea because after you cut off ten people and change lanes six times your only two car links ahead of me. That's about 6 seconds ahead of me. Again your not cool just stupid.

• Number 3: You know those things they call mirrors. Usually you have about three of them in your car. Well they are there for a reason. No it's not to check out how cool you look, they're there to know what's going on around you. So you slow ass drivers that decide to go the speed limit use those mirrors. If your on a road and there is a line of cars behind you and no one in front of you it says something. That's right you're an idiot. So either step on the gas or if your afraid to go faster that's cool. They thought of people like you when they invented turn-outs. A turn-out is used to pull out of traffic and let people go by you, use them! Again if you think it's challenging your ego or you are cool by slowing people up, your not! Your just stupid!

• Number 4: OH this one is great! I see these people that turn on there blinkers to go around bends in the road. Let me tell you something, if the road bends (if your one of these people you don't know what a bend in the road is) we all know your going the direction of the bend. You don't have to turn your blinker on telling me your going right because let me let you in on something, we all know your going that direction. There isn't another way to go!

• Number 5: Whatever you do please don't cut off or tailgate a big rig. Please don't! I mean come on do you not notice that they are about 100 times bigger than you are and the driver can't see your dumb ass tail gating them and they really don't care! I mean yes in some respects they are stupid too but believe me if you cut them off and mess up they're going to win. So again your not impressing anyone by doing this, your only reminding the rest of us how stupid you are!

• Number 6: Again back to the blinkers. You have all been behind the person that never turns off their blinker. Are you one of these people? I mean come on now! Your blinker is on, that means something is blinking on your gauges and making a click sound. There should be another measure like a hand that comes out of the steering wheel and slaps you and says hey moron turn off your blinker! I mean if you follow someone and they have there blinker on for a mile that means they haven't looked down at there gauges in that long. So they aren't looking at there gauges, there rear views or the traffic beyond the car in front of them! But I am willing to bet they are cruising along music blaring, sun glasses on their new Iphone on their ear thinking they are cool and everyone else is stupid. Little do they know that to the rest of us they're or you're just an idiot.

Lol, I wish you could hear me laughing as I right this. I think that part of it is because I'm surrounded by so many people that have no common sense or think they are to important for there own good. Let me leave you with one more brief example of what stupidity gets you.

We were in LA the land of great drivers and I know this is shocking but there was traffic. One, two three cop cars pass, now some fire fighters. Yay! We cheer because we hope they can pull the wreckage and carnage off the road so we can get by. Well as we get closer we see what happened. There is a car that took out four others and is up on an embankment. Some driver that I won't get into detail about race or ethnicity is standing there pointing at the freeway signs. After some common sense and logic (which many many people are missing) we figured out that the driver didn't see the sign to the transition. This could be because they couldn't they were vertically visioned impaired. So they just pulled the wheel to the right in a panic. Voiding all the rules of traffic so they (cause they're cool) could get on the friggin other freeway. Let me tell you I want to go into detail but she wiped out 5 cars and delayed about 10000 people from getting where they need to be. Just because that one person thought they were smarter or more important. Really again she was just an idiot!

In conclusion, don't be an idiot, don't think your ego is tested, and wake up and look around. Driving is serious business where your stupidity can kill people including your cool self. As I see more I'm going to try to keep adding on to this.

Good luck out there!

Change in Career

There comes a time in life when things just don't feel like they are quite right. Winter was ending and another year at my previous job was coming to an end. "What am I doing here?" was constantly on my mind. I was a medical consultant attending meeting after meeting with Doctors and such, trying to explain how their practice was going to change once this new system was brought implemented. My day was filled with chatters about what the boss is doing and questions like "did you here that someone got promoted that didn't deserve it?" or "did you hear they're hooking up and did you hear about this and that". Every move I made felt like it needed to be calculated to ensure I would progress and get my job done. Let’s not forget the most daunting question of all "why do I have so many bosses?” and "why does it take two weeks and seven peoples approval to get a bathroom key?". To make a long story short it just wasn't the place or the job for me. What was I supposed to be doing? Was I destined to be a cop, LAPD thought so, was the medical industry for me, some bosses thought so, was LA the right place for me, some people thought so. But what really was my next destination?

Riiiinnngg alarm is going off and another day of the same was waiting ahead. Everything felt the same except it wasn't! Something was different! I knew what I wanted and needed. I knew that something was going to change. I was going to do that next thing today. I got on the phone and called up Z. "I think that it's time I take you up on that offer to pass my resume along".

Really? Cool, send it over and I'll pass it along. Don't worry everything is going to be great.

So a couple weeks later I found myself in Santa Cruz in a conference room interviewing to be a Software Engineer. I was excited and nervous about starting a new career. I thought that I knew what it was going to be like. I thought cool, Software is challenging and it's something that I went to school for and enjoyed. The hours are pretty flexible and the work seems relaxed, so I was told from my friends in the field.

A couple of weeks later I was packed and moving back to Santa Cruz. I was leaving everything that I thought I miss and many things that I knew I would miss again. I left so many things behind that I wish I could stuff into my car and take with me. For better or worse the decision was made and off I went to be an engineer. The doctors would have to fair without me, and besides what the hell did I know about running a clinic?

I was moved in and ready to start my life as an Engineer. There were so many things going through my head but some that stay with me are what does it entail? Can I do it? I don't know shit about programming, two computer screens oh man I am a nerd, I remember pointers "right?", Visual Studio, Classes, PHP, SQL, C++, MFC, ATL, HTTP, Headers, JavaScript, The DOM, member functions, variables, code depot's (is that like home depot?), there were things I had never heard of or had heard of and just skipped that page in the book back in college. Overwhelming was an understatement. I went from ya that's right I'm going to be writing code to thinking what the hell is all this stuff. Humbled is an understatement.

Its ok dude you’re going to be fine and don't worry. Those where the words of my friend and mentor. Don't worry! Are you kidding? Those are some easy words coming from someone who is damn good at his field. I remember asking Z, "What is a class again?”. The expression on his face said it all, I think it was something to the effect of "I recommended this guy?". However his verbal response was something like "Don't worry man, It's going to be alright".

Here I am four months into my new career. Far away are the thoughts of making pretty graphs and trying to explain for the tenth time to a doctor that left click means the little button on the left side of the mouse. Gone are the days that before work I had to put on a mask to play the political game or waiting a month to get a bathroom key. For those of you that work in a big company, you know what I'm talking about.

Engineering has brought me back to what I enjoy, solving problems. Stuff like a servers communication with it's clients are still somewhat a mystery but now I know how to write a line of code that can do it for me. COM, DOJO, AJAX sometimes still feels like I'm talking about ninja's and cleaning the bathroom. Sometimes spending hours trying to figure out why my mouse turns into a hand about on millimeter from the damn button feels pointless. Other times it's such a challenge that I want to get up and walk away without looking back but when you solve something it's a great feeling. It's still overwhelming and the hours can be long. The pressure can be intense but overall it's fun. The drama is much less, the problems are much more black and white and the expectations are high, I love it.

This topic was given to me by Z and was supposed to compare and contrast what I thought my life as an Engineer would be VS. What it actually is. It's not exactly that Z but don't worry it will be OK.

Thank You

Turning Thirty - wow is it for real!? I can't believe that this decade is over. Wasn't it just a couple years ago I was drinking and partying it up because I was finally of legal drinking age. It's been quite a trip the last couple of months coming to terms with the reality of moving into what many have called a different chapter in my life. People would ask me what does turning Thirty feel like? I have a lot of young friends that love to take shots at the old guy (if you know me you probably know that I deserve them). Anyways, coming to the day that I actually turned Thirty was like waiting around for a slow death. It's like damn come on already so I can just get through the day and move on with life. People asked, "what are you going to do?", "Are you going to go out?". My reply was like eh, nothing if all goes right. Although part of me wondered "Am I really going to spend my birthday pretty much alone?".

The weekend of my birthday starts and here it is Friday night and I'm watching Soprano's with V and Z. It was pretty nice actually but a long shot from the birthdays of the past. I finally got my old ass off the couch and to bed.

Beep Beep. Beep. Beep Beep. V isn't that weird that there is a phone beeping outside and then inside. What the hell is all that noise outside? It's like 2am! Man I'm getting old. Anyways, maybe they'll shut up after a couple of minutes. Rustling? What the hell is Z doing making so much damn noise on the stairs? Now he wants to come in my room? URrgghh! Surprise! One, two, three, four....how many people are there? There are eight people all of a sudden yelling and laughing. Overwhelming is the best way to describe it. I realized at that moment that there must have been a huge amount of planning for this to go on. I mean I keep in touch with a lot of people that love to tell me what is going on and yet they managed to surprise me.

To go along with that surprise I was informed to wake up in three hours because we had to be somewhere. Four hours later I was somewhere and more people showed up. There was a group of friends around me at six fifteen in the morning. I still couldn't believe my eyes. Could this be happening?

We went fishing! I really love fishing but this trip had to be memorable because remember nothing with this group is ordinary. To sum up our trip, the fishing was fun, the waves were huge and the sun was gone. Some slaughtered as many fish as possible while others reevaluated just how much they care about me or my stupid birthday. To end it our great adventure was to pull into port with the sun shining and no wave to be found.

To make a long story short the next 24 hours involved having a record amount of people at my house. Some may say that I hate people and it was a stressful weekend. I say, "yes I hate people," but there has been few times that I have ever felt so happy. If my Thirty's are as good as the way they started then bring it on and I'll wake up every day with everything to look forward to. To my friends that made such an effort and make an effort each day, thank you. It's a weekend that I will never forget.

Hip Hop's dying

"Tonight its gon be some changes No acting sadity So stop acting and get it clappin" with lyrics like this why wouldn't Pop, Lock and Drop It by Huey be the number two Rap song in the country at the moment. Every morning I wake up to my alarm that’s set to a local "hip hop" station. It’s set to it because no others really come in clear and why not wake up to a good beat. After a couple weeks of waking up to it and listening to the same four songs the station plays I asked myself what the hell are these songs about and who the hell listens to this stuff?

I come from a generation that is defined by artists like NWA, Tupac, Biggie and NAS. Rap and Hip Hop had a huge influence in the changes that society undertook during the 1990's. With lyrics that talked about what was going in the ghetto's of the country. There were party songs too such as California Love but even those had cool beats with decent lyrics talking about different places in Cali and the representation of it all, bad or good.

You can argue that comparing NWA or Tupac to Shop Boyz performance of "Party Like a Rockstar" is a bit far fetched and I agree. The comparison comes from the fact that Tupac and Biggie were top selling records in there time and Huey and Unk are top selling artist of our time.

To be fair I decided to print out lyrics and read through them for anything that may be positive or for anything that make any sense and basically found nothing! Have we really turned to lyrics such as "I uwa like I uwa cuz you, know them hoes be tryin us hoe don't you know I F*** wit fine diamonds that look like Pa-me-la...party like a rock party like a rockstar" and "do it wit da black and da white like a cop car whoop, whoop, whoop, wha, whoop"? I mean is this supposed to represent anything? If it does, what does that say about us?

Have we become an illiterate society that walks around singing "pop lock and drop it" instead of concerning ourselves with the latest events in politics or the war? Maybe we can find some insight into the situation through Huey’s lyrics,

"You right in between us
If you a stripteasa then baby don't tease us...
She doin a new dance
What the next man said
I'm like naw she just pop locking on a headstand"

Well maybe not! What the hell is he saying anyways? I mean come on at least try to think while your writing lyrics! Ok lets give Huey a break and look into Unks lyrics. I mean what the hell is a name like Unk but whatever lets stay open minded. Hmmm Two Step now that sounds like an introspective story with lyrics like " Now Gone An 2 Step" [x4] "Now get Jiggy With it"[x4] . Ok that may be a bit harsh considering it's the chorus lets look at a verse.

"Now we Finna Turn it out
now here we go again
you already slow...
I'm shooting at your toes...
two stepping with my stacks"

You already slow I'm shooting at your toes, hey at least it rhymes.

Ok I think I've gone on long enough about this but seriously people lets thing a little about what we are listening to and what we are teaching our kids to listen to. We are supposed to be progressing as a society not regressing. We are trying to learn to advance society and improve our way of living. Moving from the ghetto to suburbia not the other way around. Like Too Short says, yes I said Too Short in Gettin It

"Now let me Holler at ya partner, spit this game
in your ear for a minute, quit complaining,
Bout how you can't spend it cause you ain't got it
You got what it takes but not enough to get started
I hope you get the message....

You should be gettin it, everything you want
Everything you dreamed of, never have to front
you should be gettin it"

Or think about what Nas is saying in Just a Moment:

"This is for my dawgs stuck in the struggle tryin to gain...
trapped in the game, not knowin how to stop and get by
to live it alive, so instead they live it to die
can we please have a moment of Peace?...

Yeah, and can we have another moment of silence?
For brothers who died from black-on-black violence
From here to the Dark Continent were rebels sell diamonds
To clients all over the world..."

After reading this are you thinking something, anything? If you aren't then go back to humming "pop lock and drop it".

I know that I have a lot of friends from a lot of different backgrounds and I'm sure each of you have an opinion. This is just mine. Yes I know there are many groups from the later years that sucked but even some of them can compete with the top hits of today. I also know that there is an entire genre of conscious music out there that talks about real stuff. However I remind you that although great it is not what is topping the charts and it is not what most of Americans are walking around humming.

I leave you with a quote from Tupac:

"Hip Hop was supposed to be this new thing that had no boundaries and was so different to everyday music. As long as it has soul to it, hip hop can live on."
Tupac Shakur

I really doubt Tupac was talking about the crap that is out there today. Unless of course you think that Huey, Unk or Shop Boyz got soul. If you do you should just... well I don't want to be mean but lets hope it's just a phase.